Welcome To My House

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle." –James Keller

Privilege.
Diversity.
Inclusion.

Are you considering clicking the trash on this email? Please don’t. I’m not asking ANYTHING of you other than to read, because this is important to me... and YOU as a part of my Whole30/MU community.

For some reason, people get really freaked out around these words, the way I used to get when someone talked about Jesus. (I’m totally cool with Jesus now, by the way.) These words can be intimidating, nerve-wracking, and downright scary. They can put people on the defensive, lead them to shut down ("I don’t want to talk about politics") or make them roll their eyes, muttering something about "politically correct B.S."

So we won’t talk about those words just yet.

Instead, let’s talk about kindness. Empathy. Hospitality. These aren’t scary. These are all general principles of being a Good Human. Be nice to others. Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes. Take into account others’ feelings before you speak or act. Make people in your community feel safe, wanted, and welcomed.

You already do this. I know you do, because you are a Good Human. (Not perfect, none of us are. But you’re Good, and you try. I do too.)

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Honestly, though, these two conversations are one and the same. When I talk about my privilege, what I’m really saying is, "I’m examining how my life works and asking people who aren’t like me how their life works, so I can understand the system we all live in, and use what I have been given to help others."

When I talk about diversity, what I’m saying is, "There are so many interesting people with very different lives from mine whom I could learn from and enjoy. I’d like to fill my circles with more of those people, and I’d like to see if they find it valuable to include me in theirs."

When I talk about inclusion, what I’m saying is, "I have designed my space so my guests feel welcomed, respected, valued, and included. I don’t want anyone to be left out."

Stripping away what you think you know about these words—privilege, diversity, inclusion—what it’s really about for me is being a better person, and a better leader in this community. The Whole30 community, this newsletter, my Instagram feed—this is all my house. And I REALLY want to be a good host.

Now, I’m betting many of you have always felt welcomed, respected, valued, and included, probably because you’ve always seen yourself (to some degree) reflected in me, my team, and my community. You feel represented, because everywhere you’ve looked in my house, you’ve historically seen people who mostly look like you.

If that is the case, I’m happy that you feel seen and valued. I care about this community as if you were family. If you have felt these things, my heart is happy, and I will keep serving you, connecting with you, hearing you, and validating you. And nothing I do to bring others in, care for them, and lift them up will take anything away from you. If anything, it will bring you even MORE joy, because our community will grow, and you’ll have even more connection and support.

But for those of you who don’t always feel welcomed, seen, heard, or represented in my house… it’s time to change that. You haven’t seen yourself in my community; you don’t know for sure if the things I write, say, or offer are for you; and you don’t know whether or not you’ll be cared for if you choose to step inside. Historically, we’ve not done a good job for you. And I’m sorry for that, because I hate the idea of anyone feeling left out of my work, the life-changing magic of the Whole30, or any part of this community.

To you, I promise to do more, and do better.

Along with Dr. Kholi, Whole30’s Director of People and Culture, the Whole30 HQ team, and our Coaches, we are ALL working to make sure that diversity, equity, inclusion, and representation aren’t just words on a page—they’re what you SEE when you open my emails, visit my social media feeds, click on our web pages, or listen to my podcast. You see kindness. You see empathy. You see compassion. You see recognition—of privilege, of systems, of inequity. And you see inclusion—not just being invited to the party, but people just like you, front and center leading the festivities.

I want you to see that. I want you to FEEL that. And if you already feel that… wouldn’t you want your good neighbors here to have the same warmth, support, and love that you do? You would. Because you are Good Humans, just like me. And we are all always trying to do better.

If you’ve stayed with me this long, send me a reply. Tell me how you felt starting the email, and how you feel at the end. I’m not asking a damn thing of you right now but to stay connected, stay open, and listen. That’s all. That will be enough. (And next week we’ll return to our regularly scheduled programming, promise.)

For those who are willing and eager to do more, to be better neighbors in your own house (and mine), to look at the systems, our privilege, and where we can do more… stick around. We’ll be sharing a lot more with you in the future.

XO Melissa